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The only way is forward
Feb 13

The only way is forward

I’ve spoken about this a lot, at least to all those close to me. Blah Blah Blah I had an accident a year and a half ago. I wrote small snippets of my experience for YogaLife and Aquarius Magazine. Writing mostly about the fall and the experience of spending months in a hospital bed, and the aftermath of  learning to walk again.

Last week I was asked to speak at a YogaLife magazine event and my first instinct was to retell the tale again. It was then that I wondered if I  had anything other than this story  to offer.

Blah Blah Blah I survived

Blah Blah Blah I recovered really fast

Blah Blah Blah

So what!!!! I’m walking. People do amazing things all the time, ordinary, everyday people. They overcome obstacles. I am not the first to fall, break and have to learn to walk again and nor will I be the last.

In my opinion it comes down to two things.

  1. Are they stakes high enough for you to get off your ass and rebuild your life.
  2. Are you going to be the victim of your story or ………. the success.

I know these conclusions seem harsh, and maybe a little insensitive to the adversity some may experience but hear me out.

POINT ONE “HOW HIGH ARE THE STAKES”

One question people say to me often is the following

“How did you do this? If it was me, I would have given up and still be in a hospital bed”.

However the way I see things is simple. The stakes where just too high.

I’ll explain it this way. If you injure your back or knee or ankle, you might go to the doctor, have a dose of pain killers, maybe be in some degree of discomfort maybe you need surgery.  But you can still feed yourself and work and shower and go to the bathroom when you need to. The stakes are low. You’re still relatively independent and  self sufficient.

For me the stakes were to high! Either I get off my ass and rebuild my life or I live in a wheelchair and have others shower me, feed me, change my nappies…… you get the picture. The stakes were too high.  When one option is to live in a hospital bed for the rest of your life, to never walk, to never be independent and free, the stakes are just too high. Anyone would be glaring at two diametrically opposed lives and know that one would forever call them and only one of those options would lead them forward, bring them happiness and a resolution.

POINT TWO ” VICTUM or SUCCESS”

I find now the hardest part of recovery is the aftermath. When your in the critical stages things are just shit, and a part of that is needing people to help you. Needing their attention and care and support. But when all of that fades and you can work and be independent whats left is sorting out the mess in your head, the trauma, the post traumatic stress, the nightmares and flashbacks, the thoughts that make you instantly cry for no other reason than a thought of a moment. Whats the hardest is not letting yourself become entangled in being a victim to your story. Needing the attention, the sympathy. There come a time when the only person you can rely on is yourself and the only way forward is to make a success of everything.

The choice is simple be the victim and hold on to the pain, or make a f**king SUCCESS of it all.

You are not the girl who had an accident, you are not disabled. Its the attachment thats so luring and the cutting of that ribbon thats so liberating.

So if it were you. if you had an accident and if the stakes were high enough. I would say to you to choose to be better than the sum of your situation. I would tell you. You can do this and you will. And when the dust settles let it all go and don’t be the victim to your story, because the only way forward is to make a success of all of it.

 

Thats all

xx

 

Caroline

 

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